Alan Kalameja’s Journey

My story began Friday, February 1, 2008, the day before my nephew Andrew Pawlak’s 22nd birthday. I received a phone call early that morning from my sister Grace that Andrew had died from a heart attack around 4:00 a.m.

The weekend was hectic making travel arrangements to Omaha, Nebraska and coordinating coverage of my classes at Trident Technical College. I was told the funeral service was planned for Tuesday, February 5th.

I left for Omaha on Monday and due to weather conditions, my flights were re-routed and delayed. I attended Andrew’s service and left on my return trip early Wednesday. I once again experienced flight changes and travel delays.

During the flight from Chicago to Charlotte, I began experiencing a severe headache and was nauseated to my stomach. I noticed that the area of my left temple hurt the most. I continued my flight to Charleston and upon landing went to Trident Technical College to check on my class and to give a short lecture.

While there several colleagues inquired about my trip, but I “drew a blank” and was unable to answer them. My behavior was chalked up to jet lag and nothing that a good night’s sleep wouldn’t fix. I had taken some aspirin earlier, but my headache continued. Upon arriving at home, I told my wife, Linda that I felt “tongue twied.” She told me that it was “tongue tied” and that I was exhausted and should go to bed.

The next morning, February 7th, I told Linda that my head was still pounding and I was unable to eat. I left to take my daughter Kathryn to school and then head to work. As soon as I got to work, I received a phone call from Linda that she was very concerned that I might be having a stroke. She came to my office and took me to Health First where I was seen by the doctor right away. After a short exam, EMS was called to transport me to Trident Medical Center emergency room.

Upon my arrival, a CT scan was performed which detected some bleeding on the brain. An MRI was then performed which revealed a tumor in the left parietal hemisphere. I was admitted to ICU where I stayed for the next two days. I was told a craniotomy would need to be performed right away.

Over the weekend, my wife and I made a choice to trust God in this situation because we knew He was in control, that our lives were in His Hands and that He had good plans for us.

My surgery was scheduled for Monday, February 11th at St. Francis Hospital. Dr. Steichen performed the surgery and removed a 3cm tumor. On Valentine’s Day, Linda and I were informed by Dr. Steichen that the tumor was cancerous. He called it Glioblastoma Multiformae, Grade IV; a very malignant and aggressive cancer. He explained that is was much like a weed. You could pull the weed out of the ground, but the roots still remained underground to once again spring up. The doctor said we should get our affairs in order.

I was transferred to HealthSouth for in-patient rehabilitation on Friday, February 15th. I especially needed speech therapy. On February 22nd I was discharged, but I would need to receive out-patient therapy until March 21st. I was looking forward to returning home to my family.

In addition, to the steroid and anti-seizure medicine I was already taking, I would need radiation treatments five days a week for six weeks. I would also need chemotherapy. I would be given chemo in pill form as it was the only type to be able to cross the blood/brain barrier. I would take Temodar for about 8 months. MRI’s would be ordered about every 8 weeks.

On Wednesday, March 12th Linda and I attended our first Brain Tumor Support Group Meeting at MUSC. Christa Lizzi and Elena Bell facilitated the meetings on the second Wednesday of each month. Here we found a place to share over lunch with others who were going through similar situations. From time to time, guest speakers were invited to attend. Linda also began attending a support group for Caregivers at Trident and found it to be a safe place to discuss concerns.

On May 12th I returned to work part-time for the next month. This was to help me ease back into my duties and allow me time to rest as I was still on chemo and had only just completed radiation treatments April 21st.

I gradually eased back into playing the guitar with the Praise band at Northwood Assembly. I felt like God communicated with me through the music and the book of Psalms. After awhile, I sometimes played during all three services. Linda told me that just my presence was a testimony of God’s goodness and faithfulness.

On September 8, 2008 I celebrated my 54th birthday. Time continued and an MRI that I had in May 2009, looked so good that it almost looked like I had never had a craniotomy.

You can only imagine how devastated I was to hear on August 18th that I had a new tumor. This one, about 2.9 x 1.5 cm was inoperable because it was located in the right thalamus. Dr. Steichen said it was the “grand central station of the brain.”

I was told that I would be an ideal candidate for CyberKnife radiation which delivers high energy x-ray to tumors with extreme accuracy. This is an outpatient procedure that is completed in five days at Roper St. Francis Cancer Center.

Planning began August 31st with a fitting for a face mask, CT scan and an MRI. The MRI, unfortunately, revealed that the tumor now appeared to be about 5 x 4 cm. Dr. Steichen had told us previously that this type of brain cancer left untreated can double in size within 8 days!

Treatments finally began September 14th and finished on September 23rd. An MRI on October 19th showed the tumor was now approximately 4.6 x 3.6 cm. I once again began taking Temodar on October 22nd in hopes of shrinking the tumor further.

An MRI on November 20th showed that the tumor had increased slightly to 4.9 x 3.7 cm. It also appeared that I was developing hydrocephalus due to compression upon the third ventricle. It was discussed that I might need to have surgery to have a shunt inserted to help with drainage.

I stopped taking Temodar on December 8th as the doctor didn’t feel that it was offering any benefit to the situation. Linda commented that now the “miracle could begin” since I would no longer be taking any treatments to slow the progression of the tumor. The December 30th MRI actually showed that the tumor had shrunk to 4.1 x 3.6 cm and there was a decrease in the mass effect of the third ventricle. We were encouraged!

Over all these months, I continued to work full-time at Trident Technical College and on my work as an author of textbooks. It was discussed that I should probably consider taking a leave of absence from my job as I was getting more and more fatigued. I decided that I would finish the semester and would begin taking sick leave effective January 4, 2010. I hoped that after some time off that I would be able to return to my job.

On January 13th, Linda and I attended the MUSC Brain Tumor Support Group meeting. As we started to leave, I began experiencing loss of coordination as I was walking. This was the first sign that the tumor was affecting me. The next day, I saw the doctor and had extensive blood work done to rule out some other issue. Everything appeared normal and on January 18th I had an MRI which showed the tumor to be slightly smaller at 4.1 x 3.15 cm. However, swelling was more prominent and there was further compression on the third ventricle.

At this time, it was felt that palliative care was needed and so Hospice was contacted. I had my initial consultation with them on January 21st. By this point, I was now sleeping about 20 hours out of the day and was only up to take care of bathroom needs and eat.

My appetite remained good as I was once again taking steroids. I especially looked forward to having pancakes as often as Linda would allow me. Our church was also providing delicious home-cooked dinners three days a week. This was a tremendous help for Linda as she was my full-time caretaker.

On January 28th, I was admitted to St. Francis to have surgery to place the shunt because of the hydrocephalus. I remained there until February 1st. Once home, a nurse from Hospice visited two times a week and a health aide came three times a week to help me with my bathing needs. A hospice volunteer was also available for 3 hours a week to help Linda.

On February 15th, I had an MRI to make sure that the shunt was working properly. Linda and I decided that this would be my last MRI. We had also decided that we were looking for “quality of life” vs. “quantity of life.” That helped us make the decision to not seek any treatments that would be considered experimental. I was really too wiped out anyway that I don’t think I would have been able to tolerate them. At this point, I had pretty much lost vision in my left eye and the use of the left side of my body. However, I had not been in any pain since my initial headache.

When awake, Linda would ask me if I had been dreaming about work. I would not recall that I had. She would tell me that I was actually teaching my EGT 251 class and that I would be gesturing with my right arm. I guess that explained the reason my right shoulder was sore. She also told me that I talked about baking apple pies and traveling. I was also preparing for the journey that I was about to take to Heaven.

NOTE: Alan died peacefully at home, the way he desired, on Friday, March 5, 2010 at 2:50 a.m. Hospice nurse Denise Kenyatta and my brother Richard Epps were there to lend me support as I said “farewell for now” to Alan. God blessed Alan and me with 25 months after his initial diagnosis. On Friday, March 26, 2010 a Home-Going Service was held at Charleston Southern University, Lightsey Chapel. It would have been our 22nd wedding anniversary. Thank you for all the prayers said on our behalf--they were answered because Alan is completely healed in Heaven!

Alan's Home-Going Service
March 26, 2010
ORDER of WORSHIP

Music: How Great Thou Art     Click here for a video verson.

Music: I Walk by Faith     Click here for a video version.

Music: The Rock      Click here to listen.      Click here to read the lyrics or print the music (PDF).

Comments: Pastor Fred Richard, representing Northwood Assembly

Comments: Dr. Mary Thornley, representing Trident Technical College

Eulogy: Linda Kalameja (see below)

Prayer: Pastor Fred Richard

Music: Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)     Click here for a video version.

Scripture Readings (Amplified Bible):

John 3:16 "For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten [unique] Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life."

John 14:1-6 "Do not let your hearts be troubled (distressed, agitated). You believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely on God; believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely also on Me. In My Father's house there are many dwelling places (homes). If it were not so, I would have told you; for I am going away to prepare a place for you. And when (if) I go and make ready a place for you, I will come back again and will take you to Myself, that where I am you may be also. And [to the place] where I am going, you know the way. Thomas said to Him, Lord, we do not know where You are going, so how can we know the way? Jesus said to him, I am the Way and the Truth and the Life; no one comes to the Father except (through) Me."

II Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good (worthy, honorable, and noble) fight, I have finished the race, I have kept (firmly held) the faith."
A poem (author unknown):
I am Home in Heaven, dear ones
Oh, so happy and so bright
There is perfect joy and beauty
In this everlasting light.

All the pain and grief is over,
Every restless tossing passed,
I am now at peace forever,
Safely Home in Heaven at last.

Did you wonder I so calmly
Trod the valley of the shade
Oh! but Jesus’ love illumined
Every dark and fearful glade.

And He came Himself to meet me
In that way so hard to tread
And with Jesus’ arm to lean on
Could I have one doubt or dread?

Then you must not grieve so sorely
For I love you dearly still,
Try to look beyond Earth’s shadows
Pray to trust our Father’s Will.

There is work still waiting for you
So you must not idly stand
Do it now, while life remaineth
You shall rest in Jesus’ land.

When that work is all completed
He will gently call you Home.
Oh, the rapture of that meeting,
Oh, the joy to see you come.

“Our days on Earth are like a shadow.”

Psalm 39:4-7 (NIV)
“Show me, O Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.

You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man’s life is but a breath.      Selah

Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:
He bustles about, but only in vain;
he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.

But now Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in you.”

Alan’s Eulogy
at Alan's Home-Going Service, March 26, 2010
by Linda Kalameja

Let me begin by saying how much it means to me that you have taken your time to be here with us today to remember Alan. On behalf of my family, I also want to say thank you so very much for all the prayers, cards, delicious meals, gifts, phone calls, and visits. A special thank you is extended to our friends at Trident Technical College and our church congregation at Northwood Assembly for all your support.

Twenty-two years ago today, March 26, 1988, Alan and I stood before a group of friends and loved ones and became husband and wife. We pledged our vows to love one another in sickness and in health until death do us part. And while we are now parted in death, our love will remain because of the life we shared and the memories we made.

Alan and I met while working at Trident Technical College. We began dating in September 1986. I always told Alan that God had sent him in to my life in answer to my prayer to find someone that would love me for myself and who would take good care of me and my daughter Suzanne.

Each of us has our own special and unique memories of Alan, but I will sum mine up by saying that he was a loving and faithful husband, a devoted father to Suzanne and to Kathryn and grandfather to Haylie. Alan also cared deeply for his birth family as an older brother to Lynn and Grace, uncle to their children and nephew to Adele and John and as a brother-in-law.

Alan was a hardworking and passionate educator for over 33 years. So much so, that almost to the end, Alan was still teaching class in his sleep. Alan gave of himself to all that he knew, whether it was one of his delicious apple pies, a photograph that he had taken, or his time to help others in any way that he could.

Most of all Alan loved God and enjoyed playing the guitar to Him as part of the worship team at Northwood Assembly.

And God loved Alan so much that “He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life”. Alan is now living that eternal life because he placed his trust in God and in His Holy Word.

Through trust, we connect with God in a way that shows our reliance on Him and our surrender to Him. This is what He desires most from us. God wants us to trust Him and depend on Him more than any other thing. Trust is the essence of faith and it opens us up to all that we need from God.

In fact, He says that without faith, it is impossible to please Him, to have a relationship with Him, or to receive anything from Him. Anyone who wants to come to Him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek Him.

On this journey called life, we don’t always know what is in front of us or what the future holds, but if we know the One who holds the future, we can trust that He will take care of things because He loves us.

This is where Alan and I found ourselves just a little over two years ago when the doctor told us that Alan had a malignant and aggressive brain cancer called Glioblastoma and that there was no cure.

The very first weekend, after receiving this devastating news, Alan and I made a choice that we were going to trust God because we knew He was in control of our lives, and that we believed He would work all things together for our good and to his Glory. The Bible is clear that our trust in God should be based on His love for us and His character and not on any particular outcome that we seek.

It’s easy to believe God on the mountaintop; but when we are in the valley of the shadow of death and it’s dark and we feel all alone, that’s when our faith is tested. We need to know that no matter how bad it is, God is there with us, that He loves us and He is going to take us through whatever we face.

If we keep holding on to God during the dark times, we will find that He never leaves our side as we walk through the pain. And when we come out on the other side, He is still there beside us and that our faith has been strengthened in the process.

Trusting God through the bad times is the deepest kind of faith there is. It’s the kind that Jesus modeled for us when he faced death and cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” It is the kind that Job had when he lost everything and said, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust Him.”

The reason we are able to trust Him is because our faith is in the one and only true God and He is a good God. And no matter what happens to us, we can put our confidence in the One who loved us so much that he laid down his life for us.

While it is true that Alan was a wonderful man, a great husband and father, he had a terminal cancer that took him from our presence in the prime of his life. Nevertheless, Alan has been in the presence of the living God since 2:50 a.m., Friday, March 5, 2010.

The Bible says that as believers, we do not grieve like people who have no hope. We are sad, but we are certain that it is not over. We may not understand why God allows some things to happen, but no matter what life throws at us, we can rise above it and still be secure.

Soon we will celebrate Easter and the resurrection of Jesus from the dead. Jesus is still alive today and He said He would take anyone who believed in Him with Him to Heaven. When we accept Christ as our Savior and Lord, Heaven becomes our eternal destination. Because of this truth, we can have faith that we will one day again see Alan. Our heavenly reunion will then be endless and everlasting. Thank you and God Bless.

Alan James Kalameja

Hanahan – Alan J. Kalameja, 55 of Hanahan, peacefully slipped from time into eternity on Friday, March 5, 2010 after a courageous battle with Glioblastoma brain cancer.

Mr. Kalameja was born September 8, 1954 in Buffalo, NY to the late Edward J. and Dorothy P. Kalameja. He graduated from Bishop Turner High School and East Carolina University. He was an Eagle Scout. Alan served as the Department Head for Design and Construction at Trident Technical College. He was the author of numerous textbooks. An active member of Northwood Assembly, he enjoyed playing his guitar to praise God.

Mr. Kalameja is survived by his wife of 22 years, Linda, daughters Kathryn Kalameja and Suzanne Albert, and granddaughter Haylie Gaskins. Also, sisters Lynn Pawlak of Omaha, NE and Grace Luh of Bradenton, FL, an aunt, niece and several nephews.

A Home-Going Service will be held at 10:00 a.m. Friday, March 26, 2010 at Charleston Southern University, Lightsey Chapel. Burial will be private.

In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to TTC Foundation, Kalameja Scholarship Fund, P.O. Box 61227, Charleston, SC 29419-1227.

Mr. Kalameja was an excellent mentor, a visionary, a wonderful teacher, a respected author, and a man of faith. He will be remembered for his love of God, family and friends, his passion for teaching and his delicious apple pies. He will be greatly missed by all who had the pleasure of knowing him.


Brain Tumor Vigil Service Photo Gallery
Photos submitted by Alan Kalameja
Alan is in the top photo (with Jane Smith and Eddi Davies).

"A Service of Healing, Remembrance, Advocacy and Hope"
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
in the Hollings Cancer Center Healing Garden

The Brain Tumor Vigil Service (PDF)
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